Perhaps we are not haunted so much by our own ghosts after all...
but by others
Its not my failure... but yours
"What comes back to haunt are the tombs of others. The phantoms of folklore merely objectify a metaphor active within the unconscious: the burial of an unspeakable fact within the loved one" See Nicholas Abraham, Critical Inquiry 13/1987
(Nicholas Abraham. Notes on the Phantom. Critical Inquiry.vol13.1087)